Transform Your Identity

The five stages of my sobriety journey are presented as the five states of personal transformation (alchemy).

Ever pause to stare out the window and wonder if there is more to life?

That’s your inner being speaking.

We are all being nudged toward understanding our underlying purpose.

So, how is this accomplished?

Through the process of Alchemy.

Illusion: Life experience is by chance and you’re a victim of circumstance.

Reality: Every person and situation is being called into your life by you and for you.

Your soul is yearning for alchemy.

Alchemy is an ancient term for the process of transformation. Alchemists were known for turning base metals like lead into gold.

Personal Alchemy is turning life lessons into identity. In other words, basic situations into divine occurrences.

Do you know what great lesson you’re called to learn?

Recently I celebrated five years sober from crystal meth.

In retrospect, I realized my sobriety process parallelled stages of alchemy; I began as a base metal, representing the darkness of ignorance. I ended as gold, representing awakening to my purpose and the light of awareness.

P.S. You don't have to be an addict to enjoy this process.

Death Becomes You.

Lasting sobriety requires a committed decision to allow your old self to die. But, this isn't an instant process nor is it an easy one.

Six months in, after the dust had settled, I wasn't homeless anymore and reunited with my kids. Things were good, but they were also boring.

My old self reemerged one day right there as I was washing dishes. The panic of relapse rose up in me, and I ran outside into the woods.

Looking up, I begged for help. In an almost audible voice, I heard “Look at that tree. That is what you have to do.”

To my right was a fallen and rotting tree.

That’s when the death of everything I knew about myself began.

Rose Colored Glasses.

The day in the woods marked the beginning of my spiritual journey. Life became bright and sunny.

Victories abounded: rehab finished, drug court completed, new job, criminal charges expunged, etc. I thought I had it all figured out now.

I started several blogs and websites because, in my mind, I had beat drug addiction. I thought I was ready to help others. But, it wasn't long until I discovered that I wasn't quite ready.

In sobriety circles, we call this the Pink Cloud stage. You see the world through rose-colored glasses. It's a great place to be, temporarily, but reality eventually sets in.

The work is just beginning.

The Great Purging.

Year three brought shadow work.

Awareness is the light that reveals our authentic self beneath the personality facade. The light of understanding illuminated parts of me that were difficult to face.

Regular meditation enabled me to become an objective observer of myself. In other words, I saw who I was free of judgment, only love.

This exploration led to relapse, which was the best purge that could have happened. That's when I admitted to a sex and alcohol addiction that precursored meth.

Confessing those hidden parts required humility and transparency. Once faced, I could integrate them.

To accompany this article, I've put together a FREE Downloadable Journaling Workbook below:

Determined Curiosity.

Integration introduced wholeness, which gave me the gift of increased confidence.

A stronger sense of self allowed me the space to lovingly question my thoughts, behaviors, and actions. In the Bible, this is called holding your thoughts captive (2 Cor 10:5).

The layers began to peel back. Curiosity opened up understanding. Events began to constellate connections from childhood to addiction in surprising ways.

Every emotional trigger was the manifestation of deeply entangled maladaptive childhood roots. Each question led to more insight, revealing another layer.

This is hard work. It is painful work.

Curiosity killed the cat, right? It also killed parts of me that were hiding behind pain, covertly controlling my emotions. Clarity kills chaos.

Sidenote, I've documented the overall process I used for identifying triggers and discovering the underlying beliefs. If interested, here's the free download:

Rise and Shine.

If I were to distill all my journey so far into one realization: I came to earth to learn Self-Acceptance. And I was born into a sexually traumatized ancestral line.

Meshing these two facets together, one can easily conclude why addiction (especially to a sex drug) was the natural progression.

In my fifth year, I embraced radical action by stepping out of my comfort zone to begin a coaching business. That decision shed people, jobs, and places from my experience to make room for my new identity.

Now, I choose who I am. And these are daily choices.

I’m rising from the ashes of this old persona that was built outside of my control. I'm emerging refined and deliberate.

The words of this article are embedded with my heart's desire, which is to be a beacon of hope and healing to end suffering for all beings.

I offer coaching services to all walks of life; people who want to break free from repeated patterns and live their best life. Please click HERE to find out more about my program.

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It has been a great pleasure to begin "Channeled Coaching" which is an infusion of practical and spiritually-led guidance. Feel free to reach out to me for more information.

But don't take my word for it: