Sexual Intimacy Through Dance

"Embodiment to me is deep listening to the signals that my body gives me around what's right and wrong for my life." - Gary

Our bodies are always speaking to us.

Tightness in the chest, upset stomach, swollen throat... 

Anything we feel in the physical is a message from our spirit.

But, most of us focus on the sensation, catastrophize, and miss out on the rich dialogue. 

"My chest hurts!" becomes a frenzy of worry, a deep dive on google, a knee-jerk doctor's appointment. 

The result is more pain in the chest because now you've added anxiety to a simple message from your heart. 

So, that message gets tamped down and ignored where it will remain until triggered.

The next time, however, the body isn't whispering the message but screaming. 

There is something for you to know that will heal you. But ironically, we see it as something to hurt us.

It is no secret that meth users become detached from their bodies. 

We not only ignore signals, we often have difficulty locating where in the body it orginates and cannot articulte what it feels like. 

If this is you, I suggest you listen intently to this week's podcast as we take a deep dive in conscious dance. 

Gary is a practitioner whose modality holds the key to healing for many of us. 

So, lets get out there and move our bodies in recovery. Let's move them in new ways that go beyond the face down/ass up life of crystal meth. 

Listen to the podcast HERE.

Watch the podcast HERE.

This study guide accompanies the podcast conversation between me and Gary Albert, Founder of Pleasure Medicine , Gay Erotic Conscious Dance! 

Understanding Embodiment and Disconnection

Many of us were never fully connected to our authentic selves before we encountered crystal meth.

Childhood messages about our sexuality, personality, or worth created disconnection from our bodies and true essence.

This disconnection is where shame resides—when we reject parts of ourselves that we've been taught are wrong or unacceptable.

Crystal meth temporarily filled these gaps, creating a false sense of integration and embodiment.

For a brief period, the drug made us feel whole, confident, and connected. But this was an illusion, and when the meth wore off, we returned to a state of disconnection—often worse than before.

True healing requires not just quitting meth but rebuilding our relationship with our bodies and learning to recognize our authentic needs and desires.

As Gary mentions, "Embodiment to me is deep listening to the signals that my body gives me around what's right and wrong for my life."

The Value of Conscious Movement in Recovery

"In my twenties until my early thirties, I was a massive raver, a huge clubber, took loads of recreational drugs... But when I left that world of clubbing and raving, I lost something that I realized was so integral and important to my life, which was music and dancing." - Gary

Conscious dance and embodied movement practices offer powerful tools for recovery by:

1. Reconnecting with your body: Moving freely helps you tune back into physical sensations and emotions that addiction may have numbed.

2. Expressing authentic emotions: Through dance, you can express feelings that might be difficult to verbalize.

3. Building non-sexual intimacy: Conscious dance spaces allow for connection with others without the pressure of sexual performance.

4. Reclaiming pleasure: Movement can help you rediscover joy and pleasure in sobriety through natural endorphins and embodied experiences.

5. Creating community: These spaces foster connections based on authenticity rather than appearance or sexual desirability.

Beyond the Quick Fix: Patience and Slow Pleasure

"I have had experiences where I feel like every cell of my body has come apart in absolute ecstasy and then really come together and I'm like, whoa, I just like went to another dimension. But that's probably after about like an hour, 90 minutes of play and exploration." - Gary

One of the most challenging aspects of recovery is learning to enjoy slower, more ordinary experiences.

Crystal meth delivers intense, immediate sensations, making it difficult to appreciate subtle pleasures that unfold gradually.

As Gary shares, "We have to relearn patience and slowness. If you want a transcendental cosmic sexual experience, that's not going to come in like two minutes... The thing with drugs is boom, you are there."

Recovery involves training yourself to appreciate the building of sensation over time, whether through:

• Mindful self-pleasure practices
• Slower, more intimate connections with partners
• Finding joy in ordinary social interactions
• Appreciating subtle physical sensations

Redefining Masculinity and Sexuality

The conversation also touches on how limited definitions of masculinity in gay communities can restrict our healing.

True masculinity isn't about appearance or mannerisms but qualities like:

• Being embodied, truthful and real
• Expressing tenderness and vulnerability
• Communicating honestly
• Creating safety for others

By expanding our understanding of attraction beyond rigid roles and appearances, we open ourselves to more authentic and fulfilling connections.

Remember that rebuilding your relationship with your body and authentic self is a gradual process.

Be patient with yourself as you explore these practices, and remember that healing isn't linear.

Each step toward embodiment is progress, even when it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

As Gary reminds us, "When you truly surrender to your own rhythm, you look so cool, so mysterious and so seductive, the way deep down you really want to look but don't trust that you do." The journey back to your authentic self is worth the effort.

Love you all and see you on the dance floor! --Dallas

Reflective Questions

1. How did crystal meth temporarily "fill in the gaps" in your sense of self? What specific insecurities or disconnections did it seem to address?

2. In what ways were you disconnected from your body before using crystal meth? How has that disconnection changed or deepened through addiction?

3. What aspects of your authentic self have you rejected or hidden due to shame? How might reconnecting with these parts support your recovery?

4. How has your definition of pleasure changed through addiction? What types of pleasure feel accessible to you in sobriety?

5. What makes you feel truly embodied and present in your life right now? What situations cause you to disconnect from your body?

Journal Prompts

1. Write about a time when you felt fully present in your body without substances. What sensations, emotions, and thoughts were you experiencing? How might you recreate aspects of this experience in your recovery?

2. Describe your relationship with patience. How has addiction affected your ability to wait for pleasure or satisfaction? What small practices might help you develop greater patience?

3. Reflect on your sexual and intimacy templates before addiction. What messages did you receive about your sexuality growing up? How did these shape your relationship with intimacy before substances entered the picture?

4. What qualities do you find genuinely attractive in others when you look beyond physical appearance? How might focusing on these qualities change your approach to relationships?

5. What would true embodiment feel like for you? Write a detailed description of how you would experience your body, emotions, and connections if you were fully present and integrated.

Action Exercises

1. Body Awareness Practice: Spend 5 minutes each day sitting quietly and scanning your body from head to toe. Notice sensations without judgment. When emotions arise, try to identify where you feel them physically in your body. Practice this daily, gradually increasing the time.

2. Movement Exploration: Put on music that moves you emotionally (not music you associate with using) and allow yourself to move freely for 10-15 minutes. Don't worry about looking "good"—focus on movements that feel authentic and satisfying. Try different types of music to explore various emotional states.

3. Pleasure Inventory: Create a list of at least 20 small, substance-free pleasures you can experience through your senses (tastes, smells, textures, sounds, sights). Commit to experiencing at least one consciously each day, noting how it feels in your body.

4. Connection Exercise: Practice making eye contact with someone you trust for 2-3 minutes without speaking. Notice any discomfort or urge to look away. Afterward, journal about what came up for you during this experience.

5. Intimacy Building: With a trusted friend or partner, practice asking for what you want in terms of non-sexual touch (e.g., "Would you place your hand on my shoulder?"). Start with simple requests and notice how it feels to voice your needs and have them met.