Self-Acceptance in Recovery
If I play with cars, I'm a good boy.
If I drink beer and swear, I'm a good Bragg.
If I attend church every week, I'm a good Christian.
If I work long hours, I'm a good leader.
If I...then I.
Living under the conditions of the outside world overrode any sovereignty in my life. I allowed my identity to be written for me.
I became hypervigilant as an adult, always looking for signs of approval/disapproval from those around me. These perceived signals dictated how I showed up in the world.
The acceptance I received wasn't real. How could it be? Other people were accepting facets of me that weren't even me. They were accepting me as themselves.
Recovery from crystal meth has enabled me to cut ties with any form of conditional love. I stand in my power these days knowing who I am and what I stand for. That knowledge is the framework by which I approach my life. Whether or not it is accepted by people, society, institutions, or even the recovery community is irrelevant.
Self-acceptance is a beautiful thing. It takes work, courage, and above all else deep love for all of your parts, even the 'negative' ones.
I hope you enjoy this week's episode and the following study guide I've provided so that you can get the most out of the conversation.
In the 6/6/24 episode of The Aftermath Podcast, I had a heartfelt conversation with Kaushal V, a gay man who struggled with his identity and the desire to be accepted. Kaushal's journey, which included battles with alcohol, Adderall, and eventually meth, is a testament to the importance of self-acceptance and living an authentic life.
From a young age, Kaushal knew he was different. Growing up in a conservative family and community, he felt the need to hide his true self. He pursued a career in medicine, hoping that becoming a doctor would make it "okay" to be gay. However, despite his academic achievements, Kaushal found himself struggling with substance abuse and feeling disconnected from his authentic self.
Kaushal's turning point came when he realized that he was tired of living a life that revolved around drugs and the constant fear of being outed. With the support of his partner and friends in recovery, he embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing. Through programs like AA, NA, CMA, and SAA, Kaushal found a community of individuals who accepted him for who he truly was.
One of the most powerful insights from Kaushal's story is the importance of surrounding yourself with people who uplift and support you. As he put it, "Go where you're fed." This means seeking out relationships, communities, and experiences that nourish your soul and help you grow. It also means being open to suggestions and willing to step outside your comfort zone in pursuit of a more fulfilling life.
Kaushal's journey is a reminder that self-acceptance is not always easy, but it is always worth it. Pay close attention to how he describes life in recovery. What needs to happen in your life to achieve this level of peace?
As a supplement to this study, you might enjoy this guided meditation to help you connect with the highest version of yourself. Envisioning your highest self begins the process of transforming to that version.
Ok, loves, I am praying this episode as well as this letter helps someone out there get and stay sober. I am always open to suggestions as well. If you have recommendations for making these study guides more interactive and/or profound, feel free to reply and let me know.
Love, Dallas 💚
June 6, 2024
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