Doing the Hard Stuff in Recovery
Do you know Tina (crystal meth)?
Then you must also know Gina (Gamma Hydroxybutyrate or GHB).
Those girls are thick as thieves.
Gina is a downer to counteract the upper of Tina.
Maybe like taking an Adderall and Xanax together?
I didn't take Gina for the downer. I took her because of the love potion effect.
The substance added a sensuality to the meth experience that was difficult to find otherwise.
Any guy who took it fell in love with me; often, it was the only time I could get affection.
Gina experiences were when I was told things like:
"Be my boyfriend'" and "I think I love you."
Being told "I love you" was my biggest turn-on.
I was typically WAY out of place in a meth crowd where men were objects.
The popular turn-on was usually the opposite:
"Tell me what a bitch I am" or "Treat me like a piece of trash."
One could infer by my turn-on that it was born from a place of deep trauma.
A void of love.
A void that I avoided (See what I did there?).
My guess is that you found your way into meth because of a void that you are avoiding as well.
How do we fill that void?
By facing life head-on. By not avoiding the work.
What is the work?
In early recovery, everything is the work.
But... here are the major 'avoids' that keep you in the relapse cycle:
Cravings- we cower in fear and use cravings to embrace victimhood instead of taking control of their outcomes (more on this next week).
Emotions- we desperately seek to feel better because we are taught not to show emotion. They become suppressed and 'ferment' in the psyche.
Intrusive Thoughts- we switch our minds to happy thoughts or give in to the disempowerment energy they bring instead of observing them to find their source.
Difficult Conversations- we aren't comfortable with discomfort because we haven't learned to regulate the nervous system. Our boundaries suffer, and so do our relationships.
Avoiding creates a void.
Voids get filled with the most accessible temporary fix.
And for us, that fix is crystal meth.
Are you ready to do the work?
I have TWO slots open in September for new clients. That is it. I'm happy about the growth but sad that I can only take two. If you are interested in 1:1 coaching, reply NOW to this email, and we can discuss the qualifications.
Love you all,
Dallas đź’š
September 3, 2024
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