You're Lying to Everyone (especially yourself)
Ever listen to the labels we give ourselves?
"I'm a morning person."
"I'm not a reader."
"I'm just not a foodie."
When did we decide what we are?
At what point did we accept our role in life?
I used to say that I did not like to camp.
Years later, after going camping a few times, I realized what I had been missing.
I was basing my personality traits on some bad experiences with my father.
That trauma became my identity.
I closed myself off from experiencing a certain joy in my life.
Many men accept their unhealthy habits or personality traits as unmoveable and excuses to avoid creating new behaviors.
And further, they slap the trendy term of "Radical Acceptance" over their blindspot as a justification.
There's a massive difference between radically accepting what is and blatant bypassing.
Bypassing happens when we avoid the heavy lifting needed to make the changes recovery requires.
Abstinence from meth isn't given to you without some painful lifting.
That IS something you'll have to accept radically, my friends.
So, in case you're wondering if you might be blurring the lines between acceptance and bypassing, here are 5 questions that should set you straight as well as an actionable exercise.
I help gay men break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex (Tina) and become their best and highest selves. My 1:1 coaching, Recovery Alchemy, is a six-month intense program that can literally change your life. I accept 2 new clients per month. Apply Here.
Are you a liar?
Let's talk about something that might make your stomach clench - the lies.
Oh, the lies we've told.
To our families, our friends, our dealers, our hookups.
The lies about where we were last night, why we needed money, and how we're "totally fine."