Is Your Life Buffering?
To help my clients describe how it feels to be "stuck" I developed the term "Life Buffering". This is a computer metaphor that almost anyone can relate to. Do you know how it feels to stare at the spinning wheel on your computer or TV screen while they buffer? Sometimes you have to reboot the whole thing.
Ever feel like you need a reboot?
I have endured buffering seasons throughout my life. For me, it was as if I could see my potential, I could feel the motivation to act, but there existed this invisible disconnection that kept me "spinning" in place. It is not fun.
It may not be surprising to learn that the most buffering I've experienced was during active addiction. But, if a homeless meth addict can unstuck his life, so can you.
Focusing on feeling stuck is keeping you stuck.
Focusing on external accomplishments is keeping you stuck.
Focusing on changing your environment is keeping you stuck.
Feeling stuck in life leads to anxiety, depression, and hopelessness.
Here are five steps I took to increase my life's bandwidth:
1) Data Collection
To begin this process, think of yourself as a scientific researcher observing yourself in the third person. Journal every day, dictating your thought patterns, state of mind, emotional states, and perspective.
You are strictly collecting data. Do not judge or draw conclusions yet. By gathering data over time, you are observing the elements of your personality.
Becoming familiar with the aspects of your personality illuminates the causes of your current life situation. In other words, Personality = Personal Reality. This is a Universal law called Cause and Effect (a subject of an upcoming newsletter).
The beginning stage of any spiritual or personal journey is about increasing self-awareness. The light of awareness diffuses the power of unconscious patterns. An effective metaphor for this is running a virus scan on your computer to find out why it keeps buffering.
2) Intention Audit
In this stage, you morph from scientist to accountant. You are performing an audit of your life by asking "WHY" of every thought, emotion, and behavior. Discover the intention of your daily activities to pinpoint who or what is controlling your life.
Why am I texting her? Why did I react that way? Why am I saying yes to this? Be honest with yourself without judgment or shame.
A notable instance during my personal intention audit was asking "why" before I posted a picture of myself on social media. Pausing to reflect, I could feel the subtle energy difference between posting for validation as opposed to adding value. I noticed that when I was posting for validation it was right after seeing someone else's post that made me feel envious. The underlying belief of "I need validation to feel accepted" was driving my behavior without me consciously knowing.
The Intention Audit reveals underlying beliefs that are stunting our personal growth. The metaphor here is discovering the sites you've been visiting online that have contributed to the viruses on your computer.
3) Play Pretend
Now it is time to let the creative juices flow and assume your role as Film Director.
The first question I ask a buffering client is "What does your life look like once you're unstuck?" Almost every time I ask, they do not have an answer. How can one move forward without a future vision? I see this often with addicts because they are inhibited by the vagueness of what life could be like without the substance (or habit).
The incentive of a better life drives change.
The key is utilizing the power of our imagination. Our ability to imagine is magic. It's the driving force of creation. Deliberately picture your future life using the full capacity of all five senses. Once you've created the vision, add the fuel that propels your vision into life: emotion.
Emotion is the Universal language heard and understood by God. It is vitally important that you feel the emotion of having this new life and being this new person. Emotion = Energy in Motion.
The metaphor that works here is writing code for a new computer game. You get to choose your own adventure.
4) WWFSD?
If everything up until now seems a little vague, here's the actionable step: asking one question of yourself all day/every day: What Would my Future Self Do?
You've imagined your future self, now time to embody them. Throughout the day, ask yourself this question as you examine every thought, emotion, and behavior. If your future self wouldn't do it, then don't do it (and vice versa).
It is very important to know who this future self is; the best and highest version of you! You'll be amazed by how quickly anxiety is released from your life by taking the struggle out of daily decisions. There is no agonizing tug-of-war with your old habits when you are simply responding to yes or no.
Soon, you've created a new identity that isn't tied to external accomplishments. Life's momentum is rooted intrinsically through self-empowerment. When we lay the foundation of our self-image this way, the outward signs that we equate with being unstuck become the icing on the cake (new job, new partner, pay raise, etc).
A working metaphor for this stage would be holding the controller and playing the video game you created.
5) Let Go.
I've saved the most important step for last, so I hope you made it this far :). Letting go in faith means allowing God to work. Do not try to force your ideal life into existence by trying to make things happen.
Conversely, stop talking about the situation altogether. By thinking about how stuck you are and devising a solution, you are keeping yourself stuck. By talking about how stuck you are, you are feeding the situation more energy.
Allow your vision to occur organically. Keep it all to yourself and allow the world to be in awe! The metaphor here is to refrain from clicking the screen while the little wheel spins because you are only delaying the buffer.
Rising above the same old patterns in your life will create a trajectory that exceeds anything you could imagine.
If a homeless meth addict can get unstuck, so can you.
I'm very grateful for the opportunity to share my journey with you. Every word written here is embedded with light from my heart. I appreciate you and look forward to sharing ALL of the marvelous ways this ministry is expanding.
Love to all.
Hey y'all, my books are open for October. I have three slots for new clients. Based on what God is bringing me, I'm strengthening my focus on those with Addictive Patterns. If you or someone you know would like to work with me, please direct them to this LINK or give them my email address dallas@drdallasbragg.com.