You’ve Quit Using, But Are You Sober?

Consecutive days without using the substance or giving in to the behavior do not mean you're sober.

Dependence on substances is the effect, sobriety unearths the causes.

Ever wonder why the sober life still feels unfulfilling?
Until you are able to unravel the distinct personality of your addiction, you will feel incomplete.

And still want to use the substance or numb with the behavior.

After years of refraining from using crystal meth, I realized I wasn’t sober yet. My life was still being driven by old programming and beliefs. In other words, ridding myself of the substance was only superficial work.

For example, if you are having sex driven by the need to numb or feel validated, that is not sober sex. I'm talking to you talking to me; this was a profound realization I came to in my own life.

There was an unhealed part discretely driving me toward old patterns.

If you can relate to this, I’ve provided my own route to unearthing this part by the roots.

Redefine Sober.

Quitting the substance or behavior does not make you sober. Each of us will define sobriety individually. If you are not using the substance, but continue to be driven by the patterns that drove you to addiction in the first place, is that really living a sober life?

Dependence on something to numb the pain is surface-level evidence of deeper sickness.

How this sickness is constructed differs per individual.
Again, what is sober for one is not sober for another.
Digging deep to the core will enable you to define YOUR sobriety.

To illustrate, think of Sobriety as an iceberg: most of it is unseen.

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Have you ever taken the time to define your own sobriety? Or are you accepting the definition from external sources? Take time to sit in a quiet place and begin to construct, very specifically, how every aspect of your life would look if you were sober. Perhaps replace the word sober with "my best and highest self" as a means of allowing your thoughts to flow.

Deconstruct Patterns.

Most likely, the sequence of events (sometimes only one event) that led to addiction began early in life.

Brainstorm major memories by notating thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Recall instances of using or relapse and unravel backward also notating thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Pinpoint overall themes and trends;

Meditate on this data to reveal the overall patterns. For more on this, see my previous article: You Vs. Brain: Who Wins?

Make a list of ways to interrupt the patterns by doing something completely different.

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Bringing awareness to the recurring patterns in your life can take time and patience. It is important to extend yourself ample grace because you are likely to unveil parts of yourself that are difficult to process. When you journal on specific memories it is important not to judge how you felt or how anyone behaved. You are observing just as a scientist would conducting a lab experiment.

Overwrite Beliefs.

Interrupting patterns are uncomfortable and triggering.

You will feel resistance, fear, and other strong emotions.

Your emotional triggers hold the key to the root of your addiction.

Using the 8-step guide provided here, take advantage of emotional triggers by discovering the limiting beliefs behind them.

Overwriting Patterns Quick Guide

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These beliefs have constructed your life’s direction.

Once you overwrite the beliefs, you create a new trajectory.

You’ve quit the substance or behavior but still feel unhappy and lost.

Healing from addiction is a unique opportunity to evolve in ways many people will never experience.

You’ve been given a gift from the Universe—don’t waste it.

I heard once that the broken are more evolved. Let's heal together.

Love to all!

Dallas

If you are interested in my sobriety story, check it out on my YouTube channel:

If you or someone you know are interested in Sobriety Coaching, click HERE to read more about my services. Let's find out if we vibe by scheduling a free coaching session (schedule here).