5 Ways Addiction Holds You in Constant Craving.

"Seek and you shall find."

A phrase used by Jesus in the Bible (Matthew 7:7). The invitation is to have faith and believe that whatever it is you ask for will be provided by God.

Addiction wants the opposite. It would state "Constantly seek but never find."

Addiction is an aspect of our EGO (see How the EGO Fuels Addiction). And just like the EGO, addiction desires to hold you within a repeated cycle.

Everyone has faced this dilemma; be it addiction to caffeine, TV, negative thoughts, food, etc. Addiction thrives in the presence of patterns.

Just examine how you drive to work, put on your clothes, and brush your teeth: life is one repetition after another.

The EGO (addiction) is objective, meaning it doesn't comprehend positive or negative outcomes for you. From this neutral space, it is a great magnet pulling you toward repeated pathways. Like an algorithm, it seeks to provide replicated high-domine experiences.

Addiction lives within the neurological connections of the brain like a common path in the grass worn down through repeated use.

The difference between addiction and other common patterns in our lives is its source. Addiction is woven together by maladaptive coping skills we pick up early in our lifetime when our brain is at its most elastic.

This makes the cyclic nature of addiction especially difficult to shift because it's rooted in deeply held emotions and trauma.

In essence, someone who decides to be sober has to modify their entire identity. That's what I had to do at the beginning of my sober journey. You can hear that story on Episode 1:2 of The AfterMeth Podcast:

Here is a roadmap for identifying how addiction is holding you within repeated cycles:

1-Endless Searching: Addiction seeks fulfillment in external things like material possessions, status, or validation from others. We are on the search to fill the void left by what we didn't receive in childhood.

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One way to measure this is your emotional regulation. Do you find your mood dependent on the actions or words of others? Do you constantly wish you had what others have? You are addicted to the dopamine release found in external circumstances, which are volatile and difficult to predict.

2-Illusion of Fulfillment: Addiction creates constant delusions of grandeur. It will convince you that if only had...or if only you lived...if only you looked like...etc. Each time you get what you think you want, the joy fizzles out quickly. This is because the underlying emotional or psychological needs aren't being met.

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Are you someone who switches careers often? Takes on new projects or hobbies but loses interest quickly? Have to buy and do what everyone else is buying or doing? You are addicted to distraction, dissociation, and avoiding the disconnection you have to your inner self. You're inauthentic because you don't have a handle on your identity.

3-False Promises: One of addiction's most effective methods for convincing you to repeat old patterns is Euphoric Recall. When faced with cravings, you tend to selectively remember the positive experiences of using the substance/behavior. The consequences temporarily escape you so that you are more likely to succumb.

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When you think about using the substance or behavior, what do you associate with the experience? Reflecting on your active addiction, it is important to consider ALL of the experiences; the come-downs, withdrawal, health concerns, broken relationships, lost jobs, etc. Euphoric Recall is a sign that we are still looking for something to numb our unprocessed pain.

4-Inability to Find True Contentment: Addiction creates a mindset of lack. The lie is that there isn't enough of anything to go around; money, love, success, friends, attention, etc. The belief in scarcity drives one to compete and see the world as a win-lose scenario. If this way of thinking resonates with you, ask yourself how addiction is showing up in your life.

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Do you hear yourself complaining about money problems? Are you left out of plans with friends? Do you find yourself jealous of coworkers or people on social media? Do you find it difficult to be happy for someone else's successes? This is a scarcity mindset, and it's a device addiction uses to manipulate your mind.

5-Escaping the Present Moment: The ego and addiction often involve a desire to escape or avoid the present moment, whether through fantasies, distractions, or substance use. This avoidance prevents individuals from facing underlying issues or experiencing genuine fulfillment in the here and now.

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Do you experience difficulty being alone? Are you conflict-avoidant? Is it hard to focus on work? Are you undisciplined when it comes to eating, fitness, hobbies, etc.? These are all symptoms that you are avoiding the internal work waiting to be processed. There are emotions locked away that are being blocked by addiction.

I know how the feeling of insatiability. I've worn out many people in various type of relationships because nothing they did was ever enough.

Never enough...

Recognition,

Attention;

Affection;

Praise;

Love.

I was labeled needy and insecure. But, my problems were deeper than that. I was being driven by addiction. I was listening to the drive to seek but never find.

By identifying the five traits of addiction above, I was able to observe myself. Through self-awareness, I was able to see my thoughts, behaviors, and words clearly when they were being authored by one or all of them.

Awareness = light = knowledge = death of addiction.

I pray this helps at least one person out there! Feel free to forward this if there is someone you know who could benefit.

Love you all! – Dallas 💚