5 Practices for Expressing Emotion (and regulating behavior)

5 Practices for Expressing Emotion (and regulating behavior)

Emotions.

The body's communication system.

As addicts, oftentimes, we aren't listening.

Or the messages are lost in translation.

In time, the body begins screaming to get our attention.

The raised voice of our body manifests as anxiety, depression, low-grade stress, and even physical disease.

As someone who lived decades disconnected from my body, I know the exhaustion and pure hell daily life can be.

My body desperately tried to get my attention but spoke a foreign language. I lived a directionless, hopeless life, always looking for a way out.

I finally found that way out the day I put the pipe to my lips.

Crystal Meth creates a false bridge between you and your body. It removes the confusion, silences the screams, and you feel like you've finally found yourself.

All the while, you've only found a temporary shortcut that ironically causes the body to scream louder after the come-down.

Quitting meth is the easy part. Learning to express emotions and regulating the behavior that follows is the hard part.

Read: Express the Emotion and Regulate the Behavior.

We are often told to 'calm down' or 'get ahold of yourself' when we are feeling strong emotions.
We are often told to 'think happy thoughts' or 'find gratitude' when we are feeling strong emotions.
We are often told to 'feel better' or 'here's how to feel happier' when we are feeling strong emotions.

All of those are incorrect.

Again, Express the Emotion and Regulate the Behavior.

Here are 5 practices for expressing emotion, followed by practical steps to apply to your life today:


The holidays are coming! How would your life be different in six months if you had successfully broken free from repeated relapse? I'm accepting applications for two new 1:1 Coaching Clients for November. If you are interested, click here.


1. Recognition Moment

When emotions surge through your body, the first step is simply to pause and notice. Instead of immediately jumping into action or trying to push the feelings away, you're practicing what we call the "powerful pause."

It's like turning on a light in a dark room – you're simply illuminating what's already there.

"I'm feeling something powerful right now" becomes your first conscious thought rather than your usual reactive pattern.

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Creating a pause between the emotion and the next thought or behavior is THE KEY to recovery. This habit helps with triggers, cravings, perception, relationship-building, and more. In that moment, you become a compassionate observer of your emotions instead of a slave to them.

2. Allow & Name

This step is about creating space for your emotions to exist without fighting them.

Instead of tensing against the shame or trying to talk yourself out of the craving, you're allowing yourself to feel each sensation.

You might notice the heaviness in your stomach, the tightness in your throat, or the racing of your thoughts. Put words to these feelings: "I'm feeling shame right now. There's fear here too. I can feel the pull toward escape."

This naming process isn't about judging or fixing – it's about acknowledging your emotional truth in this moment. This is being the compassionate observer of your own experience.

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Feel the energetic shift of naming the emotion as if it were a separate part of yourself. When you can name it, you control it. You conserve your personal identity. Instead of "I am angry," it becomes "I'm experiencing anger."

3. Listen to the Information

Now comes the deeper work of understanding what your emotions are trying to tell you.

Think of emotions as messengers carrying important information about your needs. When shame shows up after criticism at work, it might be telling you that you're craving validation and recognition.

The urge to use meth might be signaling a need for comfort or relief from pressure. The fear could be highlighting where you need more support or security in your life.

This step is about getting curious about your emotional experience rather than dismissing it. Ask yourself: "If this feeling could speak, what would it say?"

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When you begin shifting into this curious state, you'll become excited to feel negative emotions because you understand it is always there to help. If you accept that the emotion carries a message no matter how bad it feels, then you flip the script. You aren't carried away by it; you are a student of it.

4. Conscious Response

This is where transformation becomes possible. Instead of operating on autopilot, you're creating a moment of choice.

You acknowledge that while you can't choose your emotions, you can choose your response to them.

The key is that this response comes from a place of conscious awareness rather than reactive habit. You're not trying to make the feelings go away; you're choosing how to take care of yourself while having them.

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Responding to strong emotions can look like powerful statements or questions. My favorite is, "I'm feeling angry right now, but I'm willing to see this differently." The willingness to shift perception allows you to consider other points of view. In that willingness, you'll become aware of the emotion's message for you.

5. Action with Awareness

The final step is putting your conscious choice into action while staying connected to your emotional experience.

When you reach out to someone in your recovery circle, you're not just going through the motions or following a recovery rule – you're actively engaging in self-care while maintaining awareness of your feelings.

You might say, "I'm having a really hard time right now, and I need to talk it through. I'm feeling shame and craving, but I'm choosing to reach out instead of act on these feelings."

This step is about bringing together emotional awareness with deliberate action, creating a new pattern that honors both your recovery and your emotional truth.

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Taking immediate action is where the magic happens. This is when you are creating new neural pathways. You are interrupting old patterns. You are installing new programming. The action bridges the gap between knowing and doing.

Behavioral Mastery Instead of Emotional Regulation Rather than trying to control our emotions (which we can't), recovery is about:

  1. Acknowledging that emotions will come
  2. Allowing them to exist without fighting them
  3. Looking for that small gap between feeling and acting
  4. Consciously choosing our behavioral response

Here's what this looks like in practice:

Old Pattern:

Emotion → Immediate Reaction
(Feel criticized or Low Self-Worth → Jump on Grindr)

New Pattern:

Emotion → PAUSE → Conscious Choice
(Feel criticized or Low Self-Worth → Notice the urge → Choose to take a walk)


The key isn't becoming someone who never feels difficult emotions or cravings. The key is becoming someone who can feel those emotions fully while choosing different behaviors in response.

This is what true behavioral mastery looks like in recovery.

Remember: Your emotions aren't the problem, and trying to regulate them isn't the solution.

The path forward is about embracing your emotions while mastering that critical pause - that space between feeling and action where your power to choose differently lives.


The holidays are coming! How would your life be different in six months if you had successfully broken free from repeated relapse? I'm accepting applications for two new 1:1 Coaching Clients for November. If you are interested, click here.


Practical Application:

Imagine this scenario: You've had a tough day at work. Your boss criticized your performance in front of colleagues. As you drive home, you pass by an your previous dealer's house.

Here's how this situation might play out using our new approach to emotions:

The Old Pattern:

  • Feel shame from work criticism
  • See the dealer's house
  • Immediate thought: "I need a get high and forget this"
  • Try to "regulate" by telling yourself "I shouldn't feel this way"
  • Fight internal battle until either breaking down or white-knuckling through
  • End up feeling even worse about yourself

The New Approach - Step by Step:

  1. Recognition Moment

You notice the tightness in your chest and the familiar pull toward the meth high. Instead of panicking about these feelings, you simply notice them: "Okay, I'm feeling something strong right now."

  1. Allow & Name

Rather than fighting it, you let yourself feel:
- The heaviness in your stomach from the work incident
- The shame from your boss's words
- The longing for escape
- The fear of these feelings

  1. Listen to the Information

Ask yourself: "What are these emotions telling me?"
- The shame might be saying: "I need reassurance about my worth"
- The longing for escape might mean: "I need comfort and safety"
-The fear might be indicating: "I need to feel in control"

  1. Conscious Response

Instead of acting on autopilot, you make a choice:
"I'm going to pull over and call my coach right now (Or bring up a video you made to yourself the last time your relapsed or read the letter you wrote to yourself the last time you relapsed). I don't need to make these feelings go away, but I do need support while I feel them."

  1. Action with Awareness

On the phone with your coach:
"Hey, I had a rough day at work, and I'm feeling really triggered. Can I talk it through with you? I'm not trying to make these feelings disappear - I just need someone to witness them with me."

The Resolution:

  • The craving doesn't magically vanish
  • The work situation still needs addressing
  • BUT you've:
    • Stayed sober through the trigger
    • Built trust in your ability to handle emotions
    • Strengthened your recovery network
    • Practiced new coping skills

Key Takeaway:

Notice how in this example, you never once tried to "fix" or "regulate" your emotions. Instead, you:

  • Acknowledged them
  • Listened to their message
  • Chose a healthy behavioral response
  • Reached out for support

This is the difference between emotional regulation and emotional embracing with behavioral mastery. The emotions were allowed to exist while you chose recovery-affirming actions.

Remember: Every time you practice this approach, you're not just staying sober for that moment - you're building new neural pathways that make this response more natural over time.


Whew! This is hard work! But so worth it.

These practices will not only elevate your recovery but your overall life.

What do you think? How can you begin implementing these practices right now? What immediate statements or questions can you prepare as a preemptive measure for the next emotional wave?

Let me know by responding to this email. Would love to hear from you.

Love, Dallas 💚

P.S. The holidays are coming! How would your life be different in six months if you had successfully broken free from repeated relapse? I'm accepting applications for two new 1:1 Coaching Clients for November. If you are interested, click here.